As a woman, there are many mildly irritating encounters we face daily, and being realistic, men and their way of thinking are up there with the most annoying of those. There are certain things we as women do that make perfect sense to us yet to men they seem completely irrational. We've all been there, you see a little old man eating alone in public which almost brings you to tears, however your boyfriend has no idea why this makes you sad and starts to make fun of you for being so sensitive, and you're left wondering 'But how can he not see what I see?!'. Never fear ladies, here is where I come to the rescue, to stand up for all womankind.
In order to give the male species a little insight to the inner workings our female mind I have compiled together a list of the small things we do along with the reasons behind why we do it, and furthermore a little explanation as to why we find it so damn frustrating that men can't understand our logic behind it. So here it is, my open letter to the male species.
Bringing Your Bag to The Toilet
I have lost count of the amount of awkward encounters I have faced when simply trying to bring my handbag/school bag to the bathroom with me. This particular incident is something that I am sure has happened to every school girl. You have your period and ask your male teacher if you can go to the bathroom during class so you can ahem 'freshen up', he gives you permission and you proceed towards the door with your schoolbag in hand, easy sailing. But all of a sudden said male teacher asks why you are bringing your bag with you and that you should probably just leave it here, completely unaware of the fact that you are profusely bleeding from your special area and need to change your tampon asap before there is a bloody disaster all over your school uniform. But of course that is far too awkward to say, so instead you smile, leave your schoolbag down and carry on to the toilet where you then must come up with creative ways to stop the blood flow from escaping your underwear.
So men, the next time you see a female bring a bag to the toilet with you, say nothing.
The Back Of The Trousers Check
While we are on the topic of periods, another thing that men just do not understand is the back of the trousers check. Every single woman on this planet knows exactly what this is, it is the holy gospel of girl code. You have your period and ask your girl friend to have a cheeky look at your bum just to make sure there are no code red situations happening, job done in 0.2 seconds. Men, not so subtle at this check. First of all you have to explain the logic to them, when eventually they get the idea into their heads 15 minutes later they then make this check the most obvious movement on the planet. Furthermore even after this they cannot be trusted to have done the job right.
If there is one thing women know about men, it is that they say things that are untrue because they believe it is what we want to hear. So with that logic, if there was any blood on your trousers they will more than likely tell you that there is not just to keep you happy. I can't.
Taking The Perfect Instagram Picture
For a lot of women the feeling of getting the perfect instagram snap is equal to the feeling of winning the lottery, it is seriously that important. However, men do not understand this. While it is frustrating enough to find the perfect lighting, the perfect background AND the perfect pose what is eveeen more frustrating is a moaning boyfriend taking the picture. It might take best part of an hour to get the perfect image that is instagram worthy, but it is well worth the effort, believe me. Also - when we say to take A picture we mean take an upward of ten, not literally one, we're not that good.
We Think Everything Is Cute
Dogs, bunnies, shoes, tiny salt and pepper shakers, everything is cute to us. To you they may seem like insignificant and inanimate objects, but to us they are just so tiny and precious and we love them. To be honest, I can't even explain our logic behind this, it just is what it is. Accept it.
The Need For Every Detail
Why, when men tell a story do they completely omit the important details within that story and skip straight to the 'good' part. Women
need details. What were you wearing? What was the weather like? What exactly, word. for. word. did the other person say? Men, please understand our need for the tiny details, they may seem insignificant to you but to us they are the most important aspect of a story.
We Are Detectives
Continuing on from the above statement, women live for details because it is these tiny details that lead us on our little detective way to forensic oblivion. Men seem to constantly underestimate our ability to take on the smallest detail and run with that, finding out whatever we need to and more along the way. The sooner the male sex understands this the better.
Not Showering
This, this irritates me. Boys may be able to shower 7 times a day without giving it a second thought, but we cannot do this. What males don't understand is that showering for women is a whole process that takes strategic planning and organising, this is not a spur of the moment kind of thing. Every female has set hair washing days because THAT SHIT TAKES TIME. You may be able to use a 2 in 1 tesco brand shampoo and conditioner and allow 3 minutes for your hair to dry naturally after a shower. But women need roughly 5 hair care products both during and after a shower and then must allow 50 minutes for styling afterwards. So the next time your girlfriend skips a shower and reaches for the dry shampoo instead, please do not judge.
Although it was difficult to narrow down my list to just seven things that men do not understand about women, I could probably create a whole new list on the things women don't understand about men. Ugh, I give up.
Previous posts in my girl talk series:
Things I Learned When I Stopped Waring Bras
The Menstrual Cup
11 Thoughts Every Girl Has On Her Period
Here's To The Girls Who Don't Wear Makeup
Lets Talk About Body Hair
Have a lovely Thursday!
Adele x